Woo-hoo! I'm finally starting to blog again after a long hiatus. I guess most of the things in this blog are new except the blogskin. Just changed the photos and updated some stuff only. For the photos, if your picture is not there, erm, it's cause I can't find it. Oops. ^^ Well, these few weeks, or rather, months, have been rather difficult for me. Everything has been changing, so I haven't had time to adapt to a change before another one came. =.=" Then people like Kelly, Peiwen, Rachel and Yanqi just had to comment on how I looked in my uniform. Let me tell you.
Peiwen: You look, err, a bit toot. (Trying to say it in subtle way)
Yanqi: *Burst out laughing* (Is it that funny?)
Rachel: Whoa! (??)
Kelly: You look weird. (At least I only look weird in uniform, you look weird everywhere you go, you pedophile rapist!)
Thanks la. Thanks a lot. What kind of friends do I have?
Haha.. Okay anyway, I've been really tired. And it doesn't even go away when I sleep. So my concentration is totally off. No need to mention about my studies. My gosh. It's crap.
Anyway, Melanie asked me a question in maths lecture that day and it really got me thinking (Technically she asked both Ah ma and I).
Melanie: Is the person you are in school who you really are?
Joelle: Roughly?
Then I seriously thought about it and regretted my answer. Actually nobody really knows exactly who another person is. Even people themselves do no know. You can't see what a person is doing 24/7 and even if you can (Omg, you need big help if you are!), you have totally no idea what the person is thinking. So it's impossible to understand a person fully and why this person makes certain choices in life. You are only able to see the side of a person which he/she allows you to see. Which enables things like backstabbing and betrayals. This is also the reason why conflicts arise. You have different views about a certain topic because you had different experiences since young. Hence people are less tolerant of each other and have they have little idea of what the other party can accept and what he/she can't. So quarreling isn't necessarily a bad thing. In a way, it helps you to understand another person better because it's at times like this when you voice out your dislikes.
Also, we change continuously. No matter whether or not it is a conscious change. This is human nature. You see something, or feel something new, your thoughts about it change, or you have a new thought about it and your feelings and actions towards it also changes. It's how we learnt from our mistakes and move on with life.
So what my real answer to that question is, yes, this is me. This is the me in school. Whether or not it is the same me outside school doesn't matter because it doesn't change the fact that this is the way I act in school. Everyone else probably is probably different outside school also. Because everyone is searching for acceptance. So they refuse to show whatever side of themself which they find ugly. But what I think is really importat is how sincere you are in doing everything. What you say and do, is it sincere? Are you doing somethng against your conscience? If you are, then I urge you to stop trying because you won't be able to keep up that facade for long. I think, as long as someone say and does things which they mean from the bottom of their heart, people will be able to know what kind of person you are. And it's not necessarily bad to show people the ugly side of you because it's only then when you know who your true friends, people who can accept this side of you, are. There's no real need to show your friends who you really are because give them and hundred years and it's still impossible. But if you just trust them little more and let them see a little more of yourself, that's when friendships blossom.
Haha.. I feel like I just wrote something so serious. ^^ Anyway, I need to hurry up and do some serious studying! I'm so screwwwwwed! My gosh, Joelle Yong, what are you doing?
If you want to make me feel at ease, smile..
-Frau
Sb is out! Eagerly awaiting chapter 156. Hurry up! Can't wait for Ren to take some action. He's like super slow. Buuuuuuuuuut the manga is super addictive! Shucks, can't stop reading. Haha.. Hope that Ren will be unable to resist temptation. Aww, but I think he'll probably come up with some excuse. Gee. Just hurry up and get over and done with! Haha.. Oops.
Okay, I gotta go now. Bye peeps! ;D
