A missionary was walking through the jungle one day. As he came into a clearing, he and a lion came face-to-face. In his shock, he dropped the rifle he had been carrying. He began to run as fast as he could and came upon a tree that he began to climb.
That was the good news. The bad news was the lion was charging at him, gaining speed and momentum.
"Dear Lord," the missionary prayed, "I really need Your help. Please, make that lion a Christian!"
Suddenly, the lion skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together, and began to pray, "Dear God, please bless this food that I am about to receive..."
Two vultures were in the desert eating a dead clown. The first vulture asks the second vulture: "Does this taste funny to you?"
Hickory dickory dock,
The mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
And the rest got away with minor injuries.
Baby snake: "Mom, are we poisonous?"
Mother snake: "We most certainly are! Why?"
Baby snake: "I just bit my tongue!"
Little boy: "Are caterpillars good to eat?"
Father: "No. Why do you ask a question like that?"
Little boy: "Well, there was one in your salad, but it's gone now."
What do you call a sick alligator?
`An illigator.
What kind of ant is good at math?
`An accountant.
What do you call a bear that whines?
`Whiny the pooh.
Why do bees hum?
`Because they can't remember the words.
Why did the stock stand on one leg?
`Because if he lifted the other leg, he'd fall.
How many penguins does it take to fly an airplane?
`None. Penguins can't fly.
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
`He didn't like its bark.
Which side of the chicken has most feathers?
`The outside.
What do you call a cow after it's one year old?
`Two years old.
What do you call a poodle in a sauna?
`A hot dog.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
`A fsh.
How many legs does a horse have?
`Six. It has forelegs in the front and two legs in the back.
What do you call apig doing karate?
`A pork chop.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
`Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Which animal is the strongest?
`The snail. He carries his house.
What school subject is the snake good at?
`Hiss-tory.
What do you call a mouse that hangs out with a bunch of pythons?
`Lunch.
lol. Just felt like sharing these jokes..
haha..
Taken from Noah's Favourite Animal Jokes..
